To Lose a Child

Obviously I have never had a child much less lost one, but I really cannot imagine the pain that must cause.

I’ve followed a blog of a friend of a friend for some time now. She lost her 20-something daughter to a year-long battle with cancer a year plus ago. I first heard about the mother and daughter pair from a mutual friend at church and I think I saw the link to her blog on my friend’s facebook and clicked on it. We’d been praying for her in Bible Study. I read all the way back to the beginning of the story and was deeply moved. This girl seemed to have everything going for her; she was a year shy of graduating college and had a loving family and most of all she was very in love with her God. I don’t remember many details now as it’s been over a year since I read the entire story, but I remember thinking “I hope people think half as much about me as they do about her; I hope I can live for God like she has”. What’s interesting about that statement though is I was on the verge of losing faith altogether. Anyway, I followed her blog fairly irregularly for the next several months. I started seeing more posts about praying for her on facebook so I started reading more regularly. She was having many complications, but still doing mostly okay. Then, in May of 2009, she went into renal failure and was moved home for hospice care. She passed away a few days later. I still follow her mother’s blog – reading every now and then when she comes to mind. Tonight, the reason was because I read another story of a mother losing a child; this one, though, was not even minutes old. The mother of the 20-something writes eloquently. I see a lot of grief and sadness in her writing, but mostly what I see is pure honesty. I like that. I can’t even imagine the pain she is feeling though…has been feeling. She writes about moments of joy too – the outpouring of love she’s received from friends, family and even strangers. It’s amazing what kind of support-network God can pull together – and I believe it is God’s doing. This mother’s daughter is probably singing, as she loved to do, joyfully with angels.

Death is a strange thing to think about. For a believer, it’s a happy occasion, but sad for those left behind. However, it’s when we finally get to go HOME. I’m not really sure what my point of this was. I titled it “To Lose a Child” because I wanted to talk about the grief mother’s (and father’s) must feel when they lose their sons and daughters, but I guess it took a slightly different turn. I’ll return to that part of this in a moment, but for now, death. I wrote at the time of the girl’s death, a year and some ago:

“It seems that I have come to an age where people are a little more ‘allowed’ to die.
I never really heard of people my age dying until now (at least not people so ‘close’ to me).
Life is short. I need to remember that instead of worrying so much about every little thing.
I may not be here tomorrow or the next day, and what really matters is that I lived my life well and to the fullest!
I guess we just need a wake-up call on occasion.
I hope you remember today that life is short and you are not promised tomorrow. Carpe Diem.”

While I’m not sure I’d write quite these words anymore as I was in a complete faith crisis when I wrote them, I would write something similar although probably a little more about God and faith. However, I think a lot of it is still true regardless – stop worrying so much, slow down and enjoy life (you don’t know when you’ll be gone).

To Lose a Child…Does God feel the same pain these mothers I’ve read about feel/felt when He loses a child? I have heard it said that He feels all pain and in way greater ways than we can imagine. What do you think?

I’ll end with another seize the day reminder.