Dearly Loved, "sell everything"

“To the slaughters you are being led
Being told that it's a party
That this God is in your head”

The line “that this God is in your head” is probably one of the biggest lies that I believe often. I don’t like to admit that I doubt and that I doubt a lot. I don’t like to let people know that. I feel “less Christian” or something to have questions, to not be 100% sure.

There are so many things though that I can say that God definitely did for me. There are so many things that I have witnessed Him do in other’s lives. Yet, I still question it. Is it real? That was something I wrestled with a great deal a year ago. Doubt isn’t as prevalent in my thought life anymore, but it does creep in occasionally.

“And every single lie
Sounds just like the greatest truth”

How many lies do I believe daily? About myself? About others? About God? Or even about Satan? How many lies do you believe? How true do they sound? Can you pick out what isn’t true? I think I can, usually. However, it doesn’t matter if I know it’s a lie, it still sounds just like the greatest truth.

“But the one truth you're not hearing
Is that he died for you”

I forget this all the time. It is some kind of “spiritual amnesia”. I forget what He did, what He has done, what He is going to do. I forget that the biggest truth is that He DIED for ME, for you, for us. There is no greater love than that…

“No greater joy
No greater peace
No greater love than this

It's worth it brothers
It's worth it friends
To know your maker
To lose your sin”

I feel like this is something God has been shouting at me for a while, but I haven’t been able to completely, fully, one-hundred percent accept it. I keep thinking it’s worth it to hold on to the worldly things, the things that I feel will “complete me”. I can’t just give EVERYTHING up. That’s crazy! But, I’m so conflicted. I want to “sell everything” (I mean not literally – I don’t feel that’s what God is calling us to necessarily do, but “sell” whatever is holding you back; What are you holding on to? What can’t you let go? If God said “give up ____” – what would He fill that blank with? What would you have to think about for a while before saying “okay” and then following through?), but I feel like I can’t. Or maybe it’s won’t…my ex-boyfriend used to tell me “there is no can’t, only won’t”. I’m finding that to be true in most situations.

“Did you know that you are dearly loved?”

That’s another truth I have a hard time grasping, but another thing I think God has really been showing me, in small ways. You are loved. You are cherished. You are wanted. I forget that ALL. THE. TIME. Sometimes, when I start feeling completely alone, I start driving. Last week, I went out to where I knew the stars would be very visible. I love the stars, and I feel like they are something God really uses in my life – that sounds kind of weird, but for me, through them, I feel like He just speaks to me: “I am here. I love you”. As I was nearing a stopping point, a star shot across the sky and then a deer ran across the road in front of me. In that moment, I felt peace.

“No greater joy
No greater peace
No greater love than this”

“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” – John 15:13-15

What lies do you believe? What do you need to sell? How does God "speak" to you?

(Song: “Dearly Loved” by Jimmy Needham; “Sell everything” reference: Rich Ruler, Luke 18:18-29)