Desperate Hunger: Resurrect Passion

Set a fire down in my soul that I can’t contain, that I can’t control.

These lyrics have been on repeat in my head all day.

I’m not sure when the last time I heard this song was, perhaps at church on Sunday (I honestly don’t remember), but I’m choosing to believe these words were stuck on repeat for a reason.

I have a confession. I have been entirely “me-centered” for the last few days. I haven’t prayed (except for the few minutes lying in bed just before falling asleep). I haven’t been reading along in the prayer guide for The Divine Experiment. I haven’t read my Bible. I haven’t been to any of the prayer meetings. I have barely even given a thought to God. I’ve been rather rebellious.

All day, I have been anxious (and not anxious as in “excited” or “looking forward to”) about spending time with God. I’ve been hearing (you know, that faint voice that whispers “come”) all day “come, spend time with me”. I ignored it most of the day. I wanted to do other things. I actually got a lot of things done, but I knew something was still not there. God’s been missing the last few days.

I was tired. I was feeling weak. I was feeling nauseous. I couldn’t rebel any longer.

I started writing; I wrote “God, I need your mercy tonight. I confess that I’m feeling rebellious.” I continued writing and praying. Eventually, I moved on to The Divine Experiment prayer guide. Back to the song that’s been on repeat…It’s funny that today’s title happened to be “Desperate Hunger”.

Before reading what the booklet had to say, I wrote “I used to be so hungry for God. I used to WANT to spend hours with Him. I filled my ‘spiritual stomach’ with garbage, and now…I’m not so hungry anymore. God, forgive me for feasting on the ‘junk of the world’; empty my ‘stomach’. Fill me with you.” The guide says “it’s so easy for our once fiery hearts to grow cold in our love toward Him” – perhaps the song on repeat, “set a fire down in my soul”, is the prayer I need to be praying.

Another thing I noticed today (several times, actually) that I usually don’t (I typically ignore it or just plain don’t even see it) is the two words on my refrigerator: “Resurrect Passion”. I have those silly “Christian word-poetry magnets” and last semester when Evin came over for a little while, he put those two words together. I really liked the sound of it, so I left it.

I feel like the lost sheep (Luke 15). God found me; that’s for sure.

I’m also no longer feeling tired, weak, and nauseous. God, you’re funny, but thank you.

Renew my hunger for you, Lord.

Resurrect Passion. Fill me with You.

Set a fire down in my soul that I can’t contain, that I can’t control
I want more of you, God
Set a Fire – United Pursuit Band